“At this moment when the future likely feels the opposite of ancient, when instead it feels like a Lamborghini that’s pulled up to the curb while every voice around demands you get in and drive. I’m here to tell you it’s okay to travel by foot. In fact, I recommend it. There is so much ahead that’s worth seeing, so much behind you can’t identify at top speed.”
-Cheryl Strayed
This is precisely how I feel at the moment. Almost as if I’m caught in la la land. I feel a little like a fish with no water, but I know that my body, my brain, and most of all, my heart needs this break. This change in careers and in identity too. I’ve been here before by choice. But why is it that when we get what we want, like time off, we almost always immediately try and fill in the space with something, everything?!
For a brief moment, I even thought about applying to anyone who was hiring. As if my identity can only be known in the next paying job. I’m realizing though, that my identity is in who I am as a person and not in what I do for a living. Perhaps that is why I had to make changes now because I’m more than just a nanny.
But here’s the real truth as to why I left. Besides the joy being gone (that happens sometimes) I felt taken for granted most days. I’m at the crossroads of my life where looking at the next right thing can only be done so by foot. And it’s not where others are telling me it is,
Mom
Comments
Post a Comment