These two words are both powerful and weak depending…Depending on the situation. Depending on the person. Depending on how often used. Let me start off by saying that I myself, tend to overuse the word sorry in the same way that I overuse the words thank you. But, let me explain by saying that I tend to use them when I don’t know what to say sometimes in a tough situation which I find totally appropriate. With that being said though, there’s a dark side to the words “I’m sorry.”
-An apology without change is just manipulation. Whoa 😳 I’ll have Sheila Walsh explain what I’m getting at,
“In the Old Testament, two Hebrew words are used to help us understand repentance. The first is the word Nacham. This means “to turn around or to change your mind.” The second is the word Sub. It is used hundreds of times in the Old Testament and is translated using the words like turn, restore, and return. When we come to the New Testament, the Greek word that is translated “repent” is Metanoia, which literally means “to change your mind.” Notice this: there is nothing here about being sorry. Repentance is not an emotion; it’s an action. We can say we’re sorry a million times, but if we don’t turn around, if we don’t change our minds, then nothing changes.”
So what am I really getting at here exactly,
There is a huge difference in saying sorry when people are sick, scared, disappointed instead of saying the wrong things in hopes of helping that person. Sorry can say I hear you. Or I see you. But when we’re saying sorry without the intentions of changing our behavior or learning from our mistakes- our apologies don’t mean very much. In fact, when used often it can mean nothing.
So why am I saying this to you both?
There are many reasons, but one of the biggest being technology and more specifically, social media. It’s unfortunate but you two are growing up on the internet. Too many people hide behind their screens and don’t realize (or care sometimes) the weight of their words in the comment sections. I often have to remind myself that I should talk to others how I would want to be talked to and even more so online. The old adage works here by saying, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.” Seriously, nasty opinions has already been covered. You’re good! The other part of that is our phones in general. Texts, emails, DM’s, voice calls, FaceTime calls are all ways to say in touch but also more ways to disappoint and mess up. I’m a firm believer on being respectful as often as possible. If you say your are going to something, do it. Please! Or say why you can’t. I truly feel like we’ve lost a lot of our manners as a society. Why are we so okay with having to apologize so much! Better yet, our phones make communication so easy, so actually communicate. Save your “sorry’s” for the more important stuff! I could easily keep going, but without sounding too much like a “Joan of Ark” for apologies, I will end with this:
When you’re saying I love you, mean it.
When you’re saying sorry, mean it-
Mom
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