Daughters,
I read this today, “When we have warm relationships with our kids, we have unlimited potential for influence.” -Jeannie Cunnion
Oh how I wish to influence you both as much as my desire for a warm relationship too. And I believe we always will! She goes on to say, “Family warmth occurs when our children feel accepted just as they are. When a strong sense of belonging permeates the homes. When we welcome them in their weaknesses, rather than withdraw from them. When not just our words, but our tone of voice and body language, emit warmth.”
Oh how this exposes me! Which is ironic because I always tell you both that it’s not always what you say but how you say it that matters. Yet, most days I withdraw and my tone is harsh. You’ll find that this particular post isn’t going to inspire you necessarily. However, my hope for you both is that you see my weaknesses as a mother (and person) and learn from them too. When I read the quotes above I’m left with two choices, I can feel guilt and anger, or I can take it as a wake up call to try better.
I’m going to try better. Even when I fail. I’m going to keep trying.
I used to think that mastering “the look” like my mom had was the successful part of my parenting. I want nothing more than to raise you both to become even better adults. So I won’t be turning a blind eye to your behavior. However, what I’m discovering is that correcting you both shouldn’t be shaming you both. It shouldn’t be withdrawing from you both. I’m also discovering that there’s more in the power of forgiveness than in punishment. Kara Powell says, “There are five bad habits that can steal our family’s warmth: words, tone of voice, body language, technology, and fatigue.”
Can we agree that some days this momma here is nailing all five (face palm)!
But instead of reading this and feeling helpless. I look at it as an invitation. An invitation to show less “hulk mom” and more “warm mom.” A more “seek to understand mom.”
I don’t want to be a pushover though either.
So here’s to say, that in every lesson, we’ll get through it together by owning, learning and growing from our mistakes.
Know that I won’t make excuses for you (and me), but instead I invite you to own your choices too and join me on this journey,
Mom
(Quotes taken from “Mom Set Free”)
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