Consequences-

 Daughters, 

“The choices you and I make today will have consequences down the road. Every selfish, sinful, or indulgent choice we make today is a sowing a seed that will reap a harvest of sin and pain, not only in our own lives, but in the lives of others, potentially for generations to come. And every act of obedience is a seed that will produce a multiplied harvest of blessing. The harvest is rarely immediate. But it will come.” 

“When we begin to assume personal responsibility for own own choices, when we stop blaming other people and circumstances for sinful behaviors or negative patterns in our lives, we will be released from the sense that we are helpless victims.” 

-Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth 

Wow! That’s the first thing that comes to my mind when I read these quotes from her book “Lies Women Believe.” I realize that there is a lot to unpack here and multiple points I want to add to what was said above. Each quote is separate but also related and very important to understand. I truly wish I had read this years ago; I would of been a much happier person! Before I really explain what she is saying, I wanted to first say that if you struggle with perfection like me, please do not let your fear of messing up keep you from living a peaceful life. So much of my anxiety was as a result of holding myself first and then others to an impossible standard. I was also not great at dealing with my reality when it didn’t match what I thought it was all supposed to be like or better yet, when mistakes were made. I do not want your fear of sining keep you from living out your life. Mistakes will change you for the better if you let them. Our suffering is essential in growing. But like Nancy says above, our choices do have consequences. It’s important to understand that making certain choices can lead to a very hard life. While God will always forgive us, our sins can leave lasting marks forever. Our choices not only affect us but those around us. Trust me when I say this, missing out is totally okay. Not trying drugs for example was probably the best thing I could of ever done. The world will tell you that drugs, alcohol, sleeping around, lying, etc aren’t “that bad” unless you cross a certain line. But what many fail to realize is- that you don’t have to serve jail time or die to find “what goes around, comes around.” 

Something too that has taken me over thirty years to realize is that other people’s choices do not have to stay with me forever. I have been terrible at leaving the past in the past. Choosing to be in charge of how I respond, forgive, and move on has taken me from victim mode to peaceful mode. 

My hope for you both in sharing this is that you can practice this your whole lives rather than wasting precious time letting choices and other people’s keep you from the life you were meant to live as an adult, 

Mom