Friendship-

 Daughters, 

This particular post is one that I have been dreading. I may even perhaps edit this in the near future. Don’t get me wrong, friendship is absolutely essential, but I struggle with what to write here because I haven’t quite mastered it myself. It’s hard for me to admit this to you both, but I have a hard time advocating for something I have struggled with my entire life. I’m admitting this because I want you to know that it’s okay if true friendship doesn’t come easy for you too! Let’s begin by defining friendship though. The term “friend” is loosely tossed around these days; heck, friends can be added on social media accounts without even meeting them face to face. For me, the term friend is absolutely someone you can be yourself around. Someone you can see, talk to, and confide in. Friends will be with you in every season of your life. Friendship for you now, is really only beginning and it’s more in the shape of playing together. My prayer for you both is that you will find a companion now and at every age. For me, having friends my own age hasn’t always been good for me. Actually I’ve had both younger and older friends that weren’t good for me either. What I mean by that is, that I have had plenty that hurt me instead of supported me. Who put themselves first, and then left when I stopped being the one that tried. You may find this to be true for you too. With that being said, some of the best connections I’ve had were the ones I didn’t necessarily pick out myself. Our friendship feels more Serendipitous at that. But what sets them apart is that I can be my whole self with them and that they are there for me both in good and bad. A friendship shouldn’t be you pulling all the weight. A friendship shouldn’t be all drama. A friendship shouldn’t be making you feel bad about yourself. Instead, a friendship should be a bond. A friendship should be supportive and honest. A friendship should be where both enjoy each other’s company. -If your friendship changes depending on their mood or plans, than you deserve better. If a friendship depends on you making bad decisions, than you deserve better. I have felt a lot of silence and loneliness on this journey over the years. But I will tell you- quality will always trump quantity when it comes to just about anything in life and especially when it comes to friendship. Love yourself, and I promise the good friends are out there and worth fighting and waiting for- 

Mom

PS. If you find that there’s a friendship you’re in that no longer serves you; it will hurt, but letting them go will actually bring you peace once the dust of their absence settles down. I promise, it can’t kill you. Not being friends with someone is completely necessary at times throughout your life. It will allow you both to find the friends that are meant for you. Don’t waste your time on something or someone that hurts more than it generates joy.